The Schizo Effect

my favorite color is no pants


Trials and Tribulations

35 and recovering

Over the past few months I found Kratom. It is a supplement derived from a plant that aids in pain management, depression, anxiety, eases the withdrawals from opiate addiction… Its really a jack of all trades.

Due to multiple prescribed medications, I’ve been insecure and terrified of everything over the past few years.  Not anymore.

Now the government wants to ban it. Big Pharma swinging their junk around because they know they have no business if they lose their clients to clean living.

Here’s to hoping this nonsense is thrown out.

I’m now 35 and counting… And I prefer to age without the accelerator of pharmaceuticals.  Thoughts are welcome

WHITE PRIVILEGE II – return of the Mack



In about 3 weeks, I’m going to go sit in front of the one guy whose words carried me through ….

Macklemore & Ryan Lewis Radio on Slacker


A life lived for Art is never a life wasted

Ten Thousand Hours

You abandoned your destiny

I fear this will remain as my most powerful emotion….forever

The Schizo Effect


How do you do that? Abandon your destiny for something just more easily accessible? I’m tortured by the sound of Angels crying over your lack of tenacity, as I’ve held our destiny so close, it’s literally a barrier that prohibits anyone else from ever even touching me… years, and NO ONE has broken through. 
Yes, this is about YOU


keep it down
…lest you awaken the beast
The Schizo Effect

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Silent Giant

“If just one person learns from your experiences, then you will be remembered as a silent giant.”
— Gwen DePaz

BRING HOPE #into16! to benefit To Write Love on Her Arms |


This might sound obvious, but 2016 has never happened before. It is a thing completely new. And if that speaks to you, perhaps it’s because we all ache for change. We ache for fresh starts and second chances, for rescue and recovery and peace.
As for us, we want 2016 to be our biggest year yet. We want to put FIND HELP resources into the hands of 10,000 more people. We want to start a conversation about mental health on the Vans Warped Tour and at more than 100 festivals across North America. We want to help our 70 University Chapters continue to challenge stigma on college campuses.


Music is a safe place. « TWLOHA



Adele’s new album & how I relate…
Almost every track somehow brings me back to the one
The one that feined the lifelong bond that I (still) possess…
Only to show that outside of the “box”, I was never truly worth it.

[insert recent photo of my dramatically aged features after devastation]


I sadly now refer to the one as Premature Evacuation

(per my mother) The song of My Soul

“She Used To Be Mine”
sara bareilles

It’s not simple to say,
Most days I don’t recognize me.
These shoes and this apron,
This place and its patrons
Have taken more than I gave them.
It’s not easy to know
I’m not anything that I used to be.
Although it’s true,
I was never attention sweet center
I still remember that girl.

She’s imperfect but she tries
She is good but she lies.
She is hard on herself.
She is broken but won’t ask for help.
She is messy but she’s kind.
She is lonely most of the time.
She is all of this mixed up

And baked in a beautiful pie.
She is gone but she used to be mine.

And it’s not what I asked for.
Sometimes life just slips in through back door
Carves out the person
And makes you believe it’s so true.
And now I’ve got you.
And you’re not what I asked for.
If I’m honest I know I would give it all back
For a chance to start over
And rewrite an ending or two
For the girl that I knew.

Who be reckless just enough
Who get hurt but
Who learns how to toughen up when she’s bruised
And gets used by a man who can’t love
And then she’ll get stuck and be scared
Of the life that’s inside her
Growing stronger each day
Till it finally reminds her
To fight just a little
To bring back the fire in her eyes
That’s been gone but it used to be mine.

Used to be mine
She is messy but she’s kind
She is lonely most of time
She is all of this mixed up and baked in a beautiful pie
She is gone but she used to be mine.

Continue reading “(per my mother) The song of My Soul”

1 year ago TODAY

My world was snatched, squeezed, shaken, ripped into pieces, and all of them were scattered except one.
That piece was decimated.

run free 🐾
🐕take no prisoners

I do it because I can, I can because I want to, I want to because you said I couldn’t.

Vlog Entry


Today is Sept 2, 2015


I’m allowed to feel whatever the fuck I want, whenever I so choose


No one gets me



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